Friday, August 19, 2011

Jack of all trade, Master of all

military training centers all have the mission to produce high quality officers and gentlemen.
the military training program is all rounded, tough and tiring. the syllabus of military classes also cover a big wide scope of military knowledge, almost everything under the sun.
what about gentleman qualities?

I'm not yet a gentleman. That's the imperfection I will need to settle before becoming an officer.
Why am I not gentleman? (actually now a lot better than 6 years back)

1. Chinese School
I was taught in the Chinese School that girls and boys shouldn't touch each other. by all means i will avoid sitting next to girls, I felt awkward when a senior girl prefect held my hand when i was crying in standard 1. talking to girls will create gossips, and I was so shy when classmates gossip about me with a top girl student in my class.

2. All boys
then I joined St John's, CBN was right opposite my school. However, never in my mind to disturb girls like how my friends would do after class. I mind my own business, and actively involved in scouts. Me being good boy for whole year, all of a sudden got promoted become prefect whereas my friends sat for interview and undergone 6 months of observation period to become one. I wore the batch for less than 2 months, then joined Mental Torture Department aka Maktab Tentera Diraja.

3. Ragging Must Continue (RMC)
4 years in Royal Military College was a great lifetime experience despite more bitter than sweet. without taste of bitter, the sweet wouldn't be that sweet right? week one orientation week, a million times the seniors shouted "fuck your smile!" to us. slowly, my smile has gone missing. we all are hungry, every single minute. we fight for food, the better survivor will get better food. too bad for the weaker ones, they still have food to eat though, but no drumstick and potatoes for them. mind u, I had only 15 minutes to eat before the duty boy shout "mess quiet please" to recite after meal prayers. I was a good survivor, so no gentleman. If u wanna be gentleman, u will die of starvation=p So i fucked my smile for 2 years plus as a junior. the shy feeling actually resulted in me treating girls very harshly.
for example :
1. i was the leader for a camp, i gave the girls all L size T shirts and reserve the M size for the guys.
2. instructor gave me pen to be distributed to everybody, I didn't even ask the girls what pen color they want, and i said "girls must take red". they got so annoyed=p happened in the same camp also. Haha

bak kata pepatah, melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya.
my character as a civilian teenage has been smashed and rebuilt to become a soldier boy.
when soldier boy comes marching in, u will see the serious unfriendly face.
smile shows friendliness, a good way to initiate conversation.

4. Military Family
3 of us all boys, used to fight a lot. how would i know how a girl feels right?
seriously no exposure at all, we all keep improving on the military side. extremely focus on scoring great achievements and bucking up leadership skills. I don't think anybody at home is gentleman. Hahaha=p a house full of combatants. Haha
it's not that hard to smile, even during the toughest military training- Eco Challenge.
it was a very very long process of learning, started since form 4=p I'm almost done with one self enrichment book, it triggered me to write this post after reading it.

I spent an hour at the grand stand reading book, then 300 over juniors walked pass.
I nodded every single time they wish me "good morning sir". so I nodded about a hundred times.
as a senior, nod is sign of acknowledgement. juniors feel appreciated.
respect the juniors and they will respect u.

now military semester, time to squeeze in all the military knowledge.
be a good officer, and find your own way to become a gentleman. then I can fit into both civilian and military world. I don't blame anybody for this imperfection, I'm improving myself for my own good=)
Jack of all trade, master of all.

i think i have insomnia. I had a hard time swimming for an hour last night, my arm was stiff and lembik. no strength to catch water at all, felt like a siput babi swimming in the pool. after an hour, i was exhausted. But still, I couldn't sleep at night. this morning, i ran slower than the girls, i was simply powerless...

now I'm on caffeine, daily. hopefully don't get addicted.

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