sunshine

Believing in karma is what makes me who I am today, it builds my character in a mysterious way. It's like the law of action and reaction, u do good and u get good. Every time I do bad things, right after that I'll be punished. So I strongly believe karma's existence. Since the day I joined RMC, I've been pushed to limit, put into lots of really desperate conditions where I feel hopeless and couldn't take control of what's happening to me. I hate being weak and the feeling of losing control, its like a chopper losing its tail, swaying in the air and finally crash on  ground.

That's the time when I can only  pray hard, very very hard hoping for miracle Since day one joining UPNM, my life has been a lot more stable compare to my years in RMC. I'm more experienced dealing with crisis, maturity and intuition decide which path I should go. Most of the time, I picked the right path. Last two months was really sucks, I felt like living in my own cave and so hopeless. Losing weight, getting gastric, and undetermined. I felt really hopeless. Although I was slapped so hard, I still tried to keep everything under control. A good leader shouldn't be affected by emotions when come decisions making. In military, too many serious decisions need to be made. The challenging part is yr decision will affect other people. So, I need to be clear and steady all the time.I was squeezing my brain thinking how can I cheer myself up. Being a triathlete, I know my brain can multitasking, my physical can handle stress. Rather than stay in my room and study for finals, I reported to Eco challenge team and now appointed as the team leader. Keeping myself busy will avoid lots of unwanted flashback of the past, ensuring me to keep moving forward. So I train for Eco challenge and sit for final exams at the same time. Morning study, evening run 6km, then study again. If u are in upnm u probably understand how crazy that is. Lucky enough, I've made another right move again. I'm finally feeling alive again. Who will ever thought I'll see the sunshine so quickly, I thought I'll demoralize till end of my stay here.

Recently I've been blessed with abundance of surprisingly great blessings! Karma really speaks for itself. U do good, u get good. I guess it was my promise to contribute to the endurance racing community that has given me such good return. I did help quite a number of athletes to start this sport and share some useful tips with my friends, intentionally. Everything happens this month has been super smooth sailing! I was given RM 200 book voucher, won the asics contest, got my claim for Powerman, combat boots will be subsidized by uni, appointed to be platoon leader for Eco challenge, got my pay early and many many more!!! OMG, I felt like crying. This morning, my supervisor asked me what happened during my final year presentation. I was a little worried when he asked me that way, as if my marks are really horrible. I told him I was fired by the panel, but I managed to defend my stand and answered their questions. He smiled and said "no wonder u scored so high". Immediately I felt relieved! The panel who fired me gave me high marks for the presentation. But till now he didn't tell me my marks, so I don't know what he meant by "high marks", so just pray for the best. When come to academics, I have slightly lower self esteem as I've never been the top student of any subject unlike how well I'm doing in sports. Not only that, after he left the class, I checked my presentation marks for capstone project, my group got highest. I was speechless and so touched that I felt like crying. I didn't expect all this! The other groups' projects were very promising, so I thought they will score better than us. It was such an awesome week! I'm feeling very very grateful.

Lately, I've become like a freedom fighter. I approached officers and asked for lots of things on behalf of my intake. Anything goes wrong or my intake not happy with, I'll go all out fight for them. I didn't confront officers though, I tried to be persuasive to convince them with our ideas. So far, everything turned out to be a great success. That indirectly grows my influence among my batch mates.

真的无话可说，谢天谢地。。。

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